when you can tell what band it is by the sound of the guitar
IT’S 1:19 A.M. MY COUSIN JUST SENT ME THIS PICTURE WITH NO CAPTION I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
"butter me up, sunshine"
I find it frustrating how accurate and just slightly over the top these two were portrayed.
Over the top? HAVE YOU MET ACTORS BEFORE? This shit was spot on.
i have to be funny because being hot is not an option
Or you could just be really nice and friendly, works too.
proof that The Beatles were sassy motherfuckers
so at work i doodled on my hand
and my coworker was like ”Awww what a cute little girl! Why is she-“
*my mom calls ur mom* hi i just called to tell you that your son didnt reblog my sons selfie? um no lorraine. you listen here, if you want to come to my tupperware party you better get your son in check. also your blueberry cobbler should not have won the state fair competition. goodbye lorraine.
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life
Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.